Here's a disclaimer: these are thoughts of mine that are put more into a stream of consiousness form rather than an essay fit for an English Composition class. Take 'em or leave 'em but this page is (c) Seņorita Estrella.
Life vs. Religion
Okay, this is how it goes. Right at this very moment, I absolutely, positively do not believe in what millions of people call "God". I can not fathom being in his image (legs, arms, head with eyes and ears, and all that). I believe he is a constructed, imaginated form of man -- the existence of him and his powers are equal to the existence to the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and monsters in closets. Jesus is highly questionable where his exhalted status is concerned. It is possible he has powers, has an abundant amount of love for all of us ("peace be with you"), and is in a higher plane of existence but I can not accept him as being an ultimate savior.
The ten commandments is a nice little set of rules, except for the first one. What rightful place it has in a ruling forum such as a federal court is beyond me. It's downright scary in fact. I mean if you're going to believe that the rules of an all-powerful, imaginary being (not to mention a very "jealous" one) should be placed in a federal court, where is the sanity in that? Will it come to the point that pantheists aren't going to get a fair trial because "God" is pissed off at them? Is it going to become illegal to state allegiance to a pantheitic religion ("...under gods and goddesses...")? I am asking this because the first commandment is "You shall not have other gods before me". If they are going to put up a monument that says that, they should have also one that says "Don't eat yellow snow". Come on, people, if I laid claim to a rule that I professed Santa Claus made (what rule did Santa Claus ever make?) and wanted it posted in a federal court, they would take me away to a big, padded room!
Before you go and label me as an athetist, I will have you know I believe in a powerful, non-jealous, being called "God". He has many different personalities (such as a war god, a god of communication, a god of fertility, etc.) or what we humans call personalities. In reality, he is this massive clump of energy that does not answer to frivolous human emotions such as pain, anger, jealousy, love, and lust. He, or it, does not recognize good or evil for both are human concepts. It created neither heaven or hell, for eventually we all will be joined together with him as this intense energy. God also has a lovely wife that complements him very nicely. There is nothing wrong with ignoring her, but being active in trying to convince people that she doesn't exist is plain hypocritical from a philosophical and psychological standpoint. Meaning it's wrong for people to allow themselves to believe that God has no wife (who is equal in status and in abilities), and yet try to push their picture of God unto other people. In all honesty I don't know anybody who would actually do this, but you never know.
I can't explain to what exactly made me get these beliefs, but I'll give you a rough outline. I am a fan of Peter Tork (and the rest of the ex-Monkees!), and heard about him being into Taoism. He had written a song that was influenced by the Tao Te Ching ("Can You Dig It?"), and so I was naturally curious about it. I went to the library and read a good number of pages. I don't know if it's the fandom that influenced me or if the words actually rang true, but I began to due some mental "Hallejuahs".
But at this point I still believed in "God", I was dependent (co-dependent?) on him. You have to understand that 18 years of Catholic upbringing couldn't just be washed away by one book; I believe if it did, it would be called brain-washing (:shudder:). So I had my little theories that there are levels of existence, and with each higher level, "individuality" was being lost for the highest level "the All" is where everything and everyone is literally blended. "Good" and "Bad" did not exist, for again, they are human concepts.
Then came along the medium, George Anderson, and his book "Messages from the Light". I felt this whole "messages" from the dead point of view fitted well with my concept of the universe; the "dead" were in a slightly higher plane of existence, yet retained memories and personalities in my opinion. The reason why it takes guesses to understand the messages: it is difficult for the human brain to receive the messages. Think of our brains as crude antennas. The people who have passed on understand this, and honestly try not to expend energy contacting us. It would be more benefitical for us to go on with our lives than to sit down and take guesses on the messages. We, the humans, will have time to talk to them when we pass into the next realm. But since they have retained some of their human personalities/ego, they are going to try to communicate if the opportunity is there. Since science hasn't proven there is a jealous God, allow me this theory of the universe being in tiers.