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Isn't That Dumb?

Hillbilly Honeymoon (Double Barrel Shotgun Wedding)
Original Air date: 23 October 1967
(Jack Winter)
Directed by James Frawley
Monkees: Micky and Mike

INT. WESKITT HOUSE. DAY
In this scene, DAVY has been recaptured by the Chubber clan
and reforced to marry Ella Mae.  MIKE and MICKY run over
to the Weskitts house to get JUDD to marry Ella Mae, before
DAVY does.  MIKE and MICKY are considered cousins of
the Weskitts.
MA WESKITT is preparing her pipe.

        Enter MICKY.

                               MICKY
                        Where's Judd?

                                MA
                        Over there!

        MIKE comes in after MICKY.
        MICKY waits for MIKE.

                                MIKE (to MA)
                        Where's Judd?
                                
                                MA

                        Same place!!

        MIKE and MICKY spot JUDD by his vat.
        They hurry to him.

                                MIKE (cool, but a bit rushed)
                        Judd.

                                MICKY (same as MIKE)
                        Judd.

                                JUDD
                        What?

                                MIKE (softly, but rushed)
                        Come here. We gotta talk to you.

                                JUDD (confused)
                        What??

        MIKE and MICKY bring JUDD to the
        center of the room.

                                MIKE (quickly)
                        Ella Mae Chubber is getting hitched.

                                JUDD (nonchalant)
                        Well, what happened? Did Chubbers'
                        horse die?

                                MIKE (confused)
                        Did the Chubbers' horse-- No. No, not
                        the wagon, man! She's getting married!!

        While speaking JUDD gets his shotgun.

                                JUDD (flustered)
                        Married!?! Married!! Where's my gun?!
                        Where's my gun?!?!  I'll kill him!!  Where's he?
                        I'll kill him!!  Who is he?

        MIKE grabs the shotgun out of
        JUDD's hand.

                                MIKE
                        That's not the way to work it out!!

        While speaking MIKE shoves the gun
nbsp;       right in front of MICKY and himself.
        Because of MICKY's reflexes, MICKY
        takes a hold of the gun with both of his
        hands on top of MIKE's. The barrel is
        facing up. MIKE places his fists on top
        of MICKY's. They both continue to pile
        their fists until both Monkees' fists are
        in the air, above the barrel. JUDD has
        reclaimed the shotgun before it could
        fall. MIKE and MICKY notice this and
        put their hands away.
        MIKE takes JUDD aside.

                                MIKE
                        Look, Judd. If you want to be qualified,
                        for Ella Mae, you've gotta treat her like
                        a gentleman.

                                JUDD
                        But she's a girl!!

                                MICKY
                        Isn't that dumb!?

                                MIKE
                        You've gotta be sweet instead of surly.
                        You've gotta be tender instead of
                        taciturned. You've gotta--you've gotta
                        be amiable instead of angry.

                                JUDD
                        And then what?

                                MIKE
                        Then what? Well, you can ask yourself,
                        'whatever happened to the good ol Judd Weskitt?'.

(CUT)


sourmash<= Judd Weskitt and Davy

A Coffin Too Frequent
Original Air date: November 20, 1967
(Coslough Johnson)
Directed by David Winters
Monkees: Micky, Davy, Mike, and Peter

INT.MONKEES' PAD.LATE EVENING

The Monkees know that Henry is up to no
good with this seance of his uncle Elmer.
They need to find a way to set things right
before Henry gets the money.  And besides
that they need to get some sleep!!

My VCR ate the video cassette that contained
this episode, so I can't give the dialogue which
gives "Isn't that dumb?".  All I remember is that
Mike says something intellectual and Peter
replies he'll get his bankbook.



The Wild Monkees
Original Air date: 13 November 1967
(Stanley Ralph Ross and Corey Upton)
Directed by Jon C. Anderson
Monkees: Mike, Micky, Davy and Peter

INT. CABOT LODGE. DAY

The Monkees have just arrived at Henry Cabot Lodge
after taking in the local scenery.  They're not too thrilled
getting a gig at a retirement hot spot, but they make the
most of it.

Enter THE MONKEES with their carryon

ANGLE - BLAUNER walking towards MONKEES

                              BLAUNER
                        Hold it!!  What's all the noise about?!
                        Hold it!!  What -- oh, of course!  You
                        must be the boys from the band!
                        Wonderful, wonderful!!

ANGLE - MIKE, DAVY, PETER

                                MIKE
                        Wonderful?  It is??

ANGLE - BLAUNER

                                BLAUNER
                        It's amazing how quickly you
                        got up here!

ANGLE - MIKE, DAVY, PETER

                                MIKE
                        Thank you, we pack sort of fast!

ANGLE - MICKY

MICKY's suitcase opens and clothes falls out.

                                MIKE (O.S.)
                        And we unpack sort of fast, too!

ANGLE - MICKY (C.U.)

                                MICKY (to camera)
                        Isn't that dumb?!

(CUT)


Monkees In Texas
Original Air date: 4 December 1967
(Jack Winter)
Directed by James Frawley
Monkees: Davy and Peter

INT.NESMITH RANCH.DAY

In this scene, DAVY is alone at the Nesmith ranch with AUNT KATE,
and Cousin LUCY.  Black Bart's henchman, Sneak, informed Red
that DAVY is alone.  MICKY and PETER, disguised as henchmen wannabes
overhear this.  PETER is sent to the Nesmith ranch to warn them;
however PETER has ten minutes to warn them and get back to
Black Bart's hideout.

        Enter PETER on horseback.

                                PETER (frantic)
                        Black Bart's coming!!
                        Black Bart's coming!!

                                DAVY
                        Peter, what are you doing with a
                        horse in the house?

                                PETER (calmly)
                        I went to the barn, but there wasn't
                        anybody there.

                                AUNT KATE (to camera)
                        Isn't that dumb!?

(CUT)


Monkees On The Wheel
Original Air date: 11 December 1967
(Coslough Johnson)
Directed by Jerry Shepard
Monkees: Micky, Davy, Mike, and Peter

INT.CASINO.NIGHT?

The scene was actually part of the plot unlike the STTPC scene.
 In order to find the crooks behind the rigging of the roulette
wheel, The Monkees disguise themselves as mobsters. At the
roulette table, they run into a real mob henchman, BIGGY,
who is curious about these strangers.
MICKY acts as the new gang's leader, and PETER is the professor.

ANGLE - BIGGY, MICKY, PETER

                                MICKY
                        Vicious Killer here spent two
                        years in solitary confinement.

                                BIGGY
                        Was it tough?

                                MICKY
                        Nah, he did it standing on his head.

ANGLE - MIKE, upside down

ANGLE - BIGGY, MICKY, PETER

                                BIGGY
                        Good, I'll give him two more years to
                        get back on his feet again.

ANGLE - ROULETTE DEALER

                                DEALER
                        If you're not going to gamble, will you
                        please hurry up, please!!

ANGLE - MICKY, BIGGY, PETER

                                BIGGY (to PETER)
                        What do you do for this gang?

                                PETER
                        We're here to take over this town
                        and win all the money!

                                BIGGY(curious)
                        How?

                                PETER
                        Well, I have this system, see it's
                        *almost* perfected.  You square the
                        linear coefficient of the cube root,
                        raised to the power of x, and then we
                        invert the logarithms like this, and
                        now we add seven plus five, which equals
                        eleven, and we extrapolate the third--

BIGGY holds up five fingers

                                BIGGY
                        Hold it!  Hold it!! Seven plus five
                        equals twelve.

PETER slowly raises seven of his own fingers next to
BIGGY's five.  PETER then mentally counts.

                                PETER (estatic)
                        You're right!  You're right!  You're
                        right!!!  This perfects my system!  My
                        system is perfect!!!

ANGLE - MIKE, upside down

                                MIKE (to camera)
                        Isn't that dumb??

                                                                                                                                    CUT TO:



INT.CASINO.NIGHT?

In this scene, The Professor(PETER), again, has to use
his educational wits to get the mob off The Monkees back.
He is faced with BOSS, and uses a more affable approach.

ANGLE - BOSS, PETER

                                BOSS
                        Go ahead and talk!

                                PETER
                        Well, it depends on the equalization
                        of ratios!

ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER

                                BIGGY
                        Oh, it's the old equalization of ratios bit, eh?

                                PETER
                        Right!

BOSS smacks BIGGY on the face

ANGLE - BOSS, PETER

                                BOSS
                        Go ahead!

                                PETER
                        Well, it's equal things are a, when you put them--

ANGLE - PETER to the wet bar and back

                                PETER
                        First of all, you take two glasses, the
                        same amount in both.

ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER

                                PETER
                        They have equal amounts in them, and therefore
                        they are the same as each other.  But they 're
                        different!  See you take this one, and you take this,
                        and you'll see if you drink together that you will find
                        that they are unequal.  And that when they are unequal,
                        that the ratios can not be equalized!

ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER

PETER has more glasses of ratios

                                PETER
                        Here have a little of this, and have a little of that.  Here.

ANGLE - BOSS, PETER

                                BOSS (tipsy)
                        Oh, thank you!  Ah-huh!!

ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER

PETER is branding some more.

                                PETER
                        Yeah, here have some more.  This one
                        is the good one.  You can see that's 16-red
                        there, and the black is uh, ah, right!!

ANGLE - MICKY, MIKE, DAVY

                                ALL THREE
                        Isn't that dumb?!?

ANGLE - BOSS, PETER

                                BOSS (beyond sober)
                       Can I have another one??

ANGLE - BIGGY, BOSS, PETER

BIGGY faints from too much red-eye

                                PETER
                        Ah, sixteen red-eye, and sixteen black-eye
                        and here--

BOSS faints from too much red-eye

(CUT)



 

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