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The Spy Who Came In From The Cool

We don't dig spy biz!Davy wants to spend his money and buy
a pair of maracas.  He gets a deal for $0.50!
There's a catch!  Two spies hid microfilm
in the maracas and mistakenly let Davy have them!
The CIS also wants the microfilm, and the spies!
In order to arrest the spies, they need to spill
their spy secrets and have the secrets recorded.
Boy, do The Monkees have a tough job or what?

Davy:  "Look, fellas, will you please let me have another pair of maracas?"
MICKY:  "Well, you already got a pair of maracas!"
MIKE:  "Yeah, besides Davy, you've got to save your money for a rainy day!"

DAVY:  "Mike, I saw a fella talking to a popsicle!"
MIKE:  "Oh, yeah!   Let me know if the popsicle talks back!"

NATASHA:  "Fool! Don't you know there's a CIS man watching this shop?!"
BORIS:  "How do you know he's a CIS man?"
NATASHA:  "I saw him talking to a popsicle!"

BORIS:  "Now, what did you say you wanted?"
DAVY:  "A pair of red maracas!"
BORIS:  "I have a pair for six dollars!"
DAVY:  "I've only got 50 cents!"
BORIS:  "They're yours!"
MICKY:  "Maracas for 50 cents??"
BORIS:  "We make it up on the microfilm!"

BORIS:  "A teenager just stopped me and wanted a date!"
NATASHA:  "Teenage girls are very aggressive in this country!"
BORIS:  "It wasn't a girl!"

HONEYWELL:  "Good morning, sir!"
CHIEF:  "Honeywell.  What did you learn about the stolen microfilm?"
HONEYWELL:  "Well, sir, we found out that the pick-up was made
by four boys posing as a rock-n-roll group!"

CHIEF:  "My CIS men are facing danger every day of the week!
Now here's a dedicated  CIS man:  Swartz, Harold B.  Good man, Swartz!
Last week he rounded up a whole den of spies!
Now what we have in mind for you isn't dangerous!"
PETER:  "Just how difficult is it?"
CHIEF: "You have a 50-50 chance of coming out alive!"
MICKY:  "Hello, chief?  Send in Swartz, Harold B.!"

MIKE:  "Hey, all kidding aside, Chief, we'd like to help,
we really would!  But this spy thing isn't our bag!"
CHIEF:  "Well, don't worry about a thing!  Now when
the time comes, we are going to give you all the 
training you need!  Won't we, Honeywell?"
HONEYWELL:  "What?  Oh, yes sir!"
MIKE:  "It's not that I don't trust you!  Well, 
but I think, but I think I'll tell you something!"
MIKE:  "You know that man over there?"
CHIEF:  "Yeah?"
MIKE:  "He talks to popsicles!"

MICKY:  "All right, Nesmith!  Tell me about your special cigarette lighter!"
MIKE:  "Well, this cigarette light is very special!
It got's a miniature Japanese camera it!"
MICKY:  "Right!"
MIKE:  "And also a miniature Japanese cameraman!"
YAMASHITA:  "Yyyoow!"
MIKE:  "Oh, scorched you again, Yamashita!"

MICKY:  "Now, Jones, come over here!  
I want you to hit Yakomoto on the side 
of the neck with a karate chop!"
DAVY:  "Nooo, I couldn't do that!"
MICKY:  "Don't be silly!  That's his job; we pay him a dollar an hour,
and besides that you can't hurt him!"

HONEYWELL: "All you have to do is sit down there and wait until they make their contact.
There's a twelve decibel (?) microphone hidden in the lamp.  They'll never suspect a thing!"
MIKE: "What about that big black wire?!"
HONEYWELL: "It's always been a problem!"

HONEYWELL: "I'll be in here listening and recording everything that they say.
Now, the minute that I hear that they made a confession, I'll get in there
and make the arrest.  Are there any questions?"
PETER: "Is it too late to get Swartz?"

BORIS: "Madame, after we deliver the microfilm then
can we go away together as you promised?"
MADAME: "Yes, Boris, we will go to Brazil!"
BORIS: "I thought you told me Argentina?!?"
MADAME: "All right, Argentina!!"
BORIS: "Brazil is nice!"

DAVY: "I got the confession!"
HONEYWELL: "What confession?"
DAVY: "Boris!!  He nodded!!"
HONEYWELL: "You can't hear a nod!"

MADAME: "Where is he?"
MIKE: "Well, don't worry!  He'll be here any minute!"
MADAME: "I grow impatient!"
PETER: "I grow daffodils!"

HONEYWELL: "Madame got away!  She's probably on her way to Red China by now!"
DAVY: "Yeah, but we got Boris!"
BORIS: "But Boris still meet Madame in Argentina!! She promised!!"
HONEYWELL: "Sorry, Boris, you're on your way to Levenworth!"
BORIS: "I must go Argentina!"
PETER: "Oh, you'll got to Argentina someday, Boris!"
BORIS: "Levenworth is nice!"

Somewhere in Red China
MADAME: "Gentlemen, what you are about to see
is the latest secret American weapon. It will
change the course of modern warfare!"

<= No microfilm was damaged during the making of this film.