DAVY:  "Mike, I saw a fella talking to a popsicle!"
MIKE:  "Oh, yeah!   Let me know if the popsicle talks back!"

NATASHA:  "Fool! Don't you know there's a CIS man watching this shop?!"
BORIS:  "How do you know he's a CIS man?"
NATASHA:  "I saw him talking to a popsicle!"

BORIS:  "Now, what did you say you wanted?"
DAVY:  "A pair of red maracas!"
BORIS:  "I have a pair for six dollars!"
DAVY:  "I've only got 50 cents!"
BORIS:  "They're yours!"
MICKY:  "Maracas for 50 cents??"
BORIS:  "We make it up on the microfilm!"

BORIS:  "A teenager just stopped me and wanted a date!"
NATASHA:  "Teenage girls are very aggressive in this country!"
BORIS:  "It wasn't a girl!"

HONEYWELL:  "Good morning, sir!"
CHIEF:  "Honeywell.  What did you learn about the stolen microfilm?"
HONEYWELL:  "Well, sir, we found out that the pick-up was made
by four boys posing as a rock-n-roll group!"

CHIEF:  "My CIS men are facing danger every day of the week!
Now here's a dedicated  CIS man:  Swartz, Harold B.  Good man, Swartz!
Last week he rounded up a whole den of spies!
Now what we have in mind for you isn't dangerous!"
PETER:  "Just how difficult is it?"
CHIEF: "You have a 50-50 chance of coming out alive!"
MICKY:  "Hello, chief?  Send in Swartz, Harold B.!"

MIKE:  "Hey, all kidding aside, Chief, we'd like to help,
we really would!  But this spy thing isn't our bag!"
CHIEF:  "Well, don't worry about a thing!  Now when
the time comes, we are going to give you all the 
training you need!  Won't we, Honeywell?"
HONEYWELL:  "What?  Oh, yes sir!"
MIKE:  "It's not that I don't trust you!  Well, 
but I think, but I think I'll tell you something!"
CHIEF:  "Huh?"
MIKE:  "You know that man over there?"
CHIEF:  "Yeah?"
MIKE:  "He talks to popsicles!"

MICKY:  "All right, Nesmith!  Tell me about your special cigarette lighter!"
MIKE:  "Well, this cigarette light is very special!
It got's a miniature Japanese camera it!"
MICKY:  "Right!"
MIKE:  "And also a miniature Japanese cameraman!"
YAMASHITA:  "Yyyoow!"
MIKE:  "Oh, scorched you again, Yamashita!"

MICKY:  "Now, Jones, come over here!  
I want you to hit Yakomoto on the side 
of the neck with a karate chop!"
DAVY:  "Nooo, I couldn't do that!"
MICKY:  "Don't be silly!  That's his job; we pay him a dollar an hour,
and besides that you can't hurt him!"

HONEYWELL: "All you have to do is sit down there and wait until they make their contact.
There's a twelve decibel (?) microphone hidden in the lamp.  They'll never suspect a thing!"
MIKE: "What about that big black wire?!"
HONEYWELL: "It's always been a problem!"

HONEYWELL: "I'll be in here listening and recording everything that they say.
Now, the minute that I hear that they made a confession, I'll get in there
and make the arrest.  Are there any questions?"
PETER: "Is it too late to get Swartz?"

BORIS: "Madame, after we deliver the microfilm then
can we go away together as you promised?"
MADAME: "Yes, Boris, we will go to Brazil!"
BORIS: "I thought you told me Argentina?!?"
MADAME: "All right, Argentina!!"
BORIS: "Brazil is nice!"

DAVY: "I got the confession!"
HONEYWELL: "What confession?"
DAVY: "Boris!!  He nodded!!"
HONEYWELL: "You can't hear a nod!"

MADAME: "Where is he?"
MIKE: "Well, don't worry!  He'll be here any minute!"
MADAME: "I grow impatient!"
PETER: "I grow daffodils!"

HONEYWELL: "Madame got away!  She's probably on her way to Red China by now!"
DAVY: "Yeah, but we got Boris!"
BORIS: "But Boris still meet Madame in Argentina!! She promised!!"
HONEYWELL: "Sorry, Boris, you're on your way to Levenworth!"
BORIS: "I must go Argentina!"
PETER: "Oh, you'll got to Argentina someday, Boris!"
BORIS: "Levenworth is nice!"

Somewhere in Red China
MADAME: "Gentlemen, what you are about to see
is the latest secret American weapon. It will
change the course of modern warfare!"