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Everywhere a Shiek Shiek

A Nehudian princess is obligated to marry someone according
to the royal soothsayer, Vidaru.  In a desperate to attempt to find
somebody to marry (besides Vidaru), the princess chooses
Davy (out of a magazine).  Davy falls in love, but is unsure about marriage.
The King convinces him and the other Monkees
that the marriage should take place.
However, danger lurks close, and gets too close for marriage.

Somewhere in Nehudi...
KING: "If I should die, before you marry, there would be no one to inherit the throne!"
COLETTE: "I would gladly marry for you, father, but I don't know anyone!"
KING: "What about Vidaru?"
COLETTE (aghast): "Him?!?!"

Curad is hauling Davy away to the bewilderment of Peter, Micky, and Mike
MIKE: "That's a David, uh..."
Shazer hands Mike a square envelope
MIKE: "... okay."
Shazer bows out
PETER: "What's that?"
MIKE: "Um, well, I dunno know. It's, (opens envelope) oh, an invitation!
PETER: "Oh!"
MICKY and PETER reads the invitation
MICKY, PETER: "King hey czar you... King hey czar you doin'..."
PETER: "King Hessar Yaduin of Nehudi cordially invites you to the wedding of his daughter, Colette..."
PETER, MICKY: "... and Mr. David Jones!!!!"

DAVY finds himself in front of a man in colorful clothes.
SHAZER: "You are the guest of the King Hesar of Nehudi.
You are going to marry his daughter."
DAVY: "Marry his daughter?!  I don't even know her!
Anyways, why should she want to marry me?"
SHAZER: "Why does the camel sleep with one eye facing the desert moon?"
DAVY: "To keep his pants up?"

The guys try to get in and see Davy
MICKY: "Hi there! Remember us?"
MIKE: "Of course, he does!"
PETER: "Davy in there?  We'd like to see him!"

DAVY and COLETTE are mesmerized by each other for awhile.
DAVY: "Wait!  I want to be honest with you!  I'm not ready to get married!"
COLETTE: "But Davy, you must marry me!  If you don't,
my father would make me marry Vidaru!"
DAVY: "Is there anything you can do about it?"
COLETTE: "No, you're the only one who can save me from him!"

In military uniform, the guys try once again...
MIKE: "Well, is this the hotel, that you said where the maniac put the bomb in?"
MICKY: "Yes, sir!  It's the hotel where the maniac put the bomb in, sir!
If it goes off, it will kill everybody around for a hundred meters, sir!"

They finally get to DAVY.
PETER: "What happened, man?"
DAVY: "This king kidnapped me, and wants me to marry his daughter!"
MICKY: "Nice looking?"
DAVY: "Well, you know, he's not bad for his age--"
MICKY: "No, no!  His daughter, his daughter!"
DAVY: "Oh yeah, his daughter is smashing!  I think she's--"
PETER: "Hey, hey, if you're, if she's, if he's really
a king, and she's really his daughter you're
going to marry, that makes you a--"
KING: "A prince!"

The KING is showing a small scale model of what looks to be a palace.
DAVY: "What's that, what's that?!?"
KING: "This is where you will live!"
MIKE: "That's a little small, isn't it?"
KING: "The palace has seven hundred bedrooms,
twenty-two swimming pools and an indoor polo field!"
MICKY: "Seven hundred bedrooms!!"
PETER: "Yes, but what kind of neighborhood is it in?"

DAVY is bestowing cabinet titles to his fellow Monkees.
DAVY: "Peter don't worry!  I got a great position for you!
I'm going to make you the Director of Forests!  How about that?!"
PETER: "You would!"

Nehudi's diligent Secretary of Defense at work.
MICKY: "I think the first thing I'll do is modernize the navy!
Let's see, modernization of navy: six dollars!"
MAIDEN #3: "Six dollars? What's that for?"
MICKY: "New wars!"
MAIDEN #3: "You're cute!"
MICKY: "Don't touch me!!  The Secretary of Defense is never cute!
Their ruthless, ambitious, and power-hungry!!"
MAIDEN #3: "You wouldn't hurt a fly!"
MICKY: "Fly, no!!  But let Russia step backwards out of line,
and the dreaded Nehudi Camel Corps marches straight to Moscow!"

The guys hold an emergency meeting."
MIKE: "We gotta split!  It won't be easy, but I have a plan!"
MICKY: "We don't need a plan, we got it made!
We can get outta here, we can walk out!"

At DAVY'S bachelor party...
MAIDEN #2: "I have a message from the princess!"
PETER: "What's the message?"
MAIDEN #2: "Golden Grecian goblets guarantee graves!!"
PETER: "Golden Gre--hey, Micky!  Golden Grecian goblets guarantee graves!"
MICKY: "Golden Grecian goblets guarantee graves.
Golden Grecian goblets guarantee graves. That's pretty good!
Try this: rubber baby buggy bumpers!"
PETER: "Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Rubber baby bug..rubber baby.."
MIKE: "What will we play at the wedding?"
DAVY: "How about 'Here Comes the Bride'?"
MIKE: "'Oh, Promise Me', maybe. Yeah!"
PETER: "Hey, Mike!"
MIKE: "What?"
PETER: "Golden Grecian goblets guarantee graves!"
MIKE: "No, hum a few bars of it."
PETER: "Hey, Davy!"
KING: "Gentlemen..."
DAVY: "Will you wait 'till he's finished with his speech?"

KING: "How could you do this to me, or to the land of your birth?"
VIDARU: "Land of my birth, gah!!!  I am not a Nehudian!
I was born in Enid, Oklahoma!  I just came here
to get your hoard, which I'm gonna do right now!

DAVY: "I hate to run out on you like this, Colette,
but it's really for the best.  I'm too young to get married,
and now Vidaru is out of the way, you don't have to worry!"
COLETTE: You're right, I shouldn't marry you!"
DAVY: "Good!  I'm glad you understand!  I'm sure you'll find
someone that you like, even better than me!"
COLETTE: "I already have!  HIM!!!"

<=No camels were hurt during the making of this film!