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Royal Flush


After rescuing Bettina from drowning, Davy finds out
that she is Princess Bettina, the Duchess of Harmonica!
At the pad, he insists to the others that they must
go to the hotel where she is staying. He doesn't trust her uncle, Archduke Otto.
After finding out Otto's evil scheme and telling Bettina,
she and The Monkees hide out at the pad. The hideout is discovered,
a party is crashed, and some defiling of hors d'oeuvres occurs.


BETTINA: "I don't swim very well, but I was sure the raft would--"
DAVY: "You should get your money back on that raft!"
BETTINA: "I can't it was a present from my uncle, Otto."

DAVY: "Hey, that's my jacket!"

MIKE: "Did you know we haven't worked for a month?"
PETER: "Gee, it only seems like four weeks!"

MICKY: "Hey, you talking about a chick named Bettina?
She's a princess!"
DAVY: "That's right!"
MICKY: "And she's here with her uncle the Archduke--"
DAVY: "Otto!!"
MICKY: "Yeah, Otto!  Yeah and a bodyguard--"
DAVY: "Sigmund!!"
MICKY: "Ah, na, that one's Egor!  Must be a different princess!!"

MIKE: "Davy, look man!  You can't go down to the Ritz Swank Hotel
and barge in there on a suspicion!!"
DAVY: "Look will you trust me? ... She's got my jacket!!"
MIKE: "Oh well, if she's got your jacket!!!"

MICKY: "Are there any questions?"
PETER: "Yes, sir!  How do we get into the adjoining room?"
MICKY: "Very quietly!"

CHAMERMAID: "Look!  Wait a minute!  What is this?!?"
MICKY: "That's W. H. Woolhat!!  The W.H. Woolhat!"
CHAMBERMAID: "Who's he?"
MICKY: "You have heard of woolhats?  THAT's him!!"

OTTO(??): "Hello?"
SIGMUND: "Hello? The streetcar is going up the hill!"
OTTO(??):"The fox has stolen the chicken!"
SIGMUND: "The onions ripen in the spring!"
OTTO(??): "Especially when it's raining!"
SIGMUND: "Especially when it's raining?? What number is this please?"
STRANGER: "This is Klondike 5-8618!"
SIGMUND: "Oh, I must have wrong number, sorry!"

PETER: "Are you sure we lost them?"
MICKY: "What are you worried about?  We got the door all rigged and besides,
they have about as much chance of finding us here as I do becoming Miss America!!"
Knocking from yonder door
MIKE: "There she is, Miss America!"

DAVY: "Wait a minute!!  It just so happens that the princess
had a note delivered to the Harmonican embassy,
just an hour ago, in a sealed envelope!"
BETTINA: "That's right!!  And if I don't appear this evening
at the ball, they're going to know all about your evil scheme!"
OTTO: "I don't think you're telling me the truth!
But I can not afford to take chances.  So we will postpone our plans,
but only temporarily.  The princess will go with us to the ball tonight!"
SIGMUND: "Boss, she'll spill the beans!"
OTTO: "I don't think so!  Her Highness will do exactly as we wish
her to because our four friends here will be with you.
One unfortunate gesture on your part and Sigmund will, well,
you know how unpleasant Sigmund can be when he's upset!"

CHAMBERMAID: "Hey, aren't you that Woolhat guy?"
MIKE: "Oh yeah, you can have the room back, ma'am!"
CHAMBERMAID: "Well, good, I was going to tell you guys
to start packing anyways! Royalty's bad enough,
but I've got to draw the line somewhere!"


Though he hurt his head on a safe and a brick wall,
Sigmund(unfortunately) was not harmed in this film.