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One Man Shy (Peter and the Debutante)

The Monkees audition for a high-class party.  Peter falls in love with the hostess.
The hostess has a snobby boyfriend who dislikes The Monkees.
Peter steals a portrait of the hostess, because he's too shy to talk to her face-to-face.
The Monkees get back at the boyfriend for putting them down.
The boyfriend gets back at The Monkees for getting back at him.
The hostess sympathizes the boys' pain and invites Peter to be her escort to the party.
Peter fumbles during a conversation at the party,
and the other Monkees make him out to be a super-terrific guy.
And they live happily ever after, until Davy falls in love in the next episode.

MIKE:  "I don't like him at all!!"
DAVY:  "I don't like him either!!"
MICKY:  "I don't even like him *that* much!!"

MICKY:  "Come on, Big Peter!!  It didn't work for Cyrano either!"
PETER:  "I'm not even good by Proxy!!"
MICKY:  "Look, I'll tell you what I do know is you gotta
take that picture back before we *all* get into trouble!"

RONNIE:  "What a dump!  This place is incredible!  You'd have to call
an interior decorator in if you wanted to condemn it!  Look at that lamp!!
Look at that table!!  Look at that person!!  Look at that mirror!!
You really get a big kick out of yourself, don't you?"

MIKE:  "Yeah, but I'm all I have!!"
RONNIE:  "That's too bad!"

RONNIE:  "Young man, young man!!  Are you
the artist responsible for this magnificant creation?"

MIKE:  "What are you, a nut?!?"
RONNIE:  "Oh, no!!  I love it!!  I'm an authority!!
Listen, I must have it!!  I simply must have it!!"
MIKE:  "You can have it!!  All you do is turn on the fountain!!"

PETER:  "She wants me to take her to the party!"
MICKY:  "Groovy, man, you made it!!!"
MIKE:  "Wonderful!!"
PETER:  "I can't make that scene!  I don't know how to behave with a lady!!"
MICKY:  "Man, he really does not know how!"
MIKE: "He could learn!"

DAVY:  "Hey, Peter!!  Didn't you ever have a crush on anybody?"
PETER:  "Yeah, one."
DAVY:  "So, what did you do about it?"
PETER:  "I took her to a cub scout meeting."
MICKY:  "Well, didn't anybody have a crush on you at home?"
PETER:  "I got some threatening valentines."
MIKE:  "You told me you used to play spin-the-bottle!"
PETER:  "Yeah, but I always lost!"
MIKE:  "Maybe we could change that!"

MICKY FREUD:  "Just tell me your problems, my boy!!"
PETER:  "Well, when I was very young, I used to be 
embarrased about kissing.  Now I can talk very openly about ... s-e-x."

MICKY FREUD:  "Ah, ya, ya!  Your problem is very simple!!
I know what is your problem, mother-fixation!!  You are too close to your mother!!

Now, you feel better?
[Telephone Rings]
"Ya?  Oh, yes--yes, mother!  Ya, I will!  I promise I will!!  I promise -- I will!
That vas my mother!!  Tell me to put on my golashes all de time!!"

MICKY:  "Remember, talk music, books and politics!"
PETER:  "I read an interesting music about 
books..and!  It was very interesting!"

MICKY:  "Oh, man, he's going to blow it!!"
PETER:  "I was re-reading Hamlet the other day.
It was about this Danish prince."

DAVY:  "Hey, we better do something before he starts to cry!!"

BROKER MICKY:  "Hello!  I'm looking for Peter Tork!
I'm his stockbroker.  I have to tell him to sell short
before Short changes his mind!"

VALERIE:  "I thought he was just a musician!
Is he very wealthy?"

BROKER MICKY:  "Wealth--wealth--wealthy?!!
Oh, he smokes ten cigars a day, and lights
them up with one hundred dollar bills!!"

VALERIE:  "That is an expensive habit!"
BROKER MICKY:  "Not really!  He gets the cigars wholesale!!"

RONNIE:  "I am here to expose some Monkees,
who are making a monkey out of you!"

BROKER MICKY:  "Well, I better get back to the stock market!!"
CAPTAIN MIKE:  "Yeah, I left the yahct running!!"
TAILOR DAVY:  "And, I've got some alterations to make!"
RONNIE:  "Stop!!!!!  Frauds, everyone of them!
Yahctsmen!!!  Brokers!!!  Tailors!!!  Ha!!!!!
They are just fifth-rate musicians!!"

MICKY:  "Third-rate musicians!!!"
MIKE:  "Would you believe that the Peter we all know and love has now
turned into a wolf in sheep's clothing?"
MICKY:  "Which just goes to prove, you can make a silk purse
out of a sow's ear ... if you have enough good silk."
DAVY:  "Which proves more than ever, it's not how
you play the game, it's whether you win or lose."
<= No marbles were seriously injured during the making of this film.