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Mijacogeo (or The Frodis Caper)

We got to get outta here, or we'll be couch potatoes for life! Micky, Davy, and Mike wake up to find Peter not in his bed.  After finding Peter as a zombie in front of the television set, they find out more people have been hypnotized by the signals from their sets.  To straighten out this problem, the three unaffected Monkees go to the KXIW station.  There they find out a madman named Wizard Glick and his henchmen have taken control of broadcast television!  Can The Monkees overpower this Glick and return television viewing back to its regular scheduled programming before it is too late?
Alarm clock continuously ringing in background.
MIKE:  "Peter?"
MICKY:  "Peter?"
DAVY:  "Peter?"
MIKE:  "Peter??"
MICKY:  "Peter??"
MIKE:  "Peter?"
MICKY:  "Peter??"
MIKE:  "Peter!!"
DAVY:  "Hey, what's happened to Peter?"
MIKE:  "Well, that he's probably not back from dreaming yet!"
MICKY:  "That's impossible, man, Peter doesn't dream!!"
MIKE:  "Oh, well, in that case, he's gone."
ALL THREE:  "He's GONE?!!?"

MICKY:  "Hey, Pete?!  Hello, Pete?!  Hey, Pete?! 
Hey look, guys, there's the bass drum I thought I lost!"
DAVY:  "Micky, Micky!  Will you not worry about that?  Will you look for Peter?"
MICKY:  "Man, I have, I have!!  I can't find him!  Did you find him?"
MIKE:  "Well, then, there's one thing left to do!!"
MICKY:  "You don't mean !!"
MIKE:  "I do mean!!"
LOST AND FOUND MAN:  "Well, I can see you came to the right place. 
I'm the lost and found man here!  I--"
MICKY:  "Yes, yes!!  I lost!  Peter Tork, have you seen him?"
LOST AND FOUND MAN:  "You know, it's odd you should mention that.
I was looking for him meself!"
MICKY:  "Did you find him?"
LOST AND FOUND MAN:  "No, I'm saddened to report I didn't."

MICKY:  "Davy, did you find Peter?"
DAVY:  "No, I didn't find Peter.  I saw the old wooden Indian sittin' in the middle of the floor, and then there's a funny lookin' statue sittin' on the chair over there!"
MIKE:  "What do you mean?"
MICKY:  "Statue??"
DAVY:  "Yes."
MICKY:  "What statue?  That's Peter!!"
DAVY:  "Peter!"
MIKE (to Peter):  "Woo-hoo!"
MICKY:  "Look!  It looks like that tv is putting him in somewhat of a trance!"
MIKE:  "Don't be silly, that's nothin' but a test pat- test pat- pat--"
MICKY:  "Uh, Mike, are you sure it's a test- pat- pattern? 
Mike, are you sure ... it's a test ... uh, Mike?!!!?"
MIKE:  "Uuuhhhh!!"
MIKE switches the set off.
DAVY:  "Wow, what was that??!"
MICKY:  "Man, I don't know what it was, it wasn't a test pattern!!  It was unbelievable!!"
MIKE:  "You're telling me it was unbelievable, and if you think that 
was something,  you should see what happens after the commercial!!!"
MICKY:  "What happens?"
MIKE:  "Well, then there's this weird guy by the name of Wizard Glick..."

MIKE:  "Micky..."
MICKY (to MRS. PARKER):  "Mrs. Parker?"
MIKE:  "Micky, I think this thing's got a hold on everybody.
We'd better check the neighbors!"
MICKY (to MIKE):  "Right!"
MIKE leaves room and comes back.
MIKE:  "I say, MICKY, I think this thing's got a hold of everybody!
We'd better go check the neighbors!"
MIKE leaves room and comes back again.
MIKE:  "MICKY!!!"
MICKY (scared silly):  "Aaauhhaahhhhauuhhh!!!!!!"

DAVY:  "Nyles?  Oh, no!!  Has the tv got you too?"
NYLES:  "What tv?  Man, I'm always like this!"
DAVY:  "Oh!"
MICKY:  "This is weird!"
MIKE:  "This is unbelievable!!"
DAVY:  "Everybody's like this!!"
MICKY:  "What kind of warped, maniacal mind would be plotting such a conspiracy?!?"

MICKY:  "This looks like a job for--"
ALL THREE:  "Monkeemen!!!!"
DAVY:  "Quick, men, to the phone booth!"
MICKY:  "Let's change!!"
MONKEES entering a public phone booth.
DAVY:  "Hold it!"
MICKY:  "What, what??"
DAVY:  "Hold it!  Look at that!"
MIKE:  "What do you mean, 'hold it'?"
DAVY:  "Federal Law W443, Paragraph 7 prohibits the use of any public phone booths with the purpose of changing into or out of secret identities."
MICKY:  "Ah, but if we don't change into our secret identities, 
the entire television audience is doomed!"

HENCHMAN:  "Hey, boss, look at this!"
WIZARD GLICK:  "Look at this, Your Royal Wizardry!"
HENCHMAN:  "You've got something?"
WIZARD GLICK:  "Not you, dum-dum, me!!!  Now, what is it?  My goodness!"
HENCHMAN:  "It's the Monkeemen monitor!  It hadn't been activated for five years!"

MICKY:  "Aaahhhh!!"
MIKE:  "What, what, what?!!?"
MICKY:  "A two-headed org!!"
MIKE:  "That's no problem-- a two-headed org!!?!"
DAVY:  "What'll we do, what'll we do??"
MIKE:  "Ah, we'll look it up in the Monkeemenmangmanmanual!"
MICKY:  "What!??"
MIKE:  "The book, the book!!!"
MICKY:  "What book?!!?"
MIKE:  "The book, with the instructions!!!"
DAVY:  "Yeah!"
MICKY:  "Oh yeah, the book.  The Monkeeman Manual!
It says here, ah, a three-headed gleeb, a six-eyed creebage ..."
MIKE:  "No, no!"
MICKY:  "... three-sided snidesnarps ..."
MIKE and MICKY:  "No!"
MICKY:  "... six-headed org, four-headed org, ah, two-headed org!!"
MIKE:  "Yeah, that's it!!"
DAVY:  "Well, what does it say to do?!?!"
MIKE:  "Oh, yeah!"
MICKY:  "Oh, yeah!!  To dispose of a two-headed org, jump up 
and down three times, roll a head of cabbage, and giggle!!"

MIKE:  "Hey, wait a minute, guys!  Do you know what time it is?
It's 7:30/6:30 Central Time; time for 'The Monkees'!  I wonder
if anybody here's got a television set!!"

MIKE:  "It's no use!  We'll never be able to stop them!"
DAVY:  "You know, we'll never be able to get loose!"
MICKY:  "Ahh, man, if we can only get in touch with somebody!"
MIKE:  "How about Peter?"
DAVY:  "Yeah!!"
MICKY:  "No, he's at the pad."
MIKE:  "Mental telepathy!"
MICKY:  "Yeah!!"
DAVY:  "Oh, you mean that psychedelic stuff?"
MIKE:  "Yeah, all the groups are doin' it!!  You know, psycho-jello!"
DAVY:  "How's it work?"
MIKE:  "Well, I don't know!"
MICKY:  "Oh, but I do!!"
MIKE:  "Yeah?!"
MICKY:  "Listen, we've got to concentrate real hard on Peter,
and now we've got to repeat this chant I learned!"
MIKE:  "A chant you've learned while studying transcendental
meditation under an Indian mystic, right?  Is that it, man?"
MICKY:  "No, no!!"
MIKE:  "No, it's not!"
MICKY:  "It's a chant I learned when I sent in a cereal box-top!!"

PETER (being compelled):  "This is incredible!  I feel as though I was compelled to move by a chant from the transcendental meditations of an Indian mystic!"
MICKY (V.O.):  "No, Peter!  It's a chant I got from a cereal box-top!"
PETER: "Oh."

MICKY (chanting):  "It's working, it's working."
MIKE (chanting):  "How do you know, how do you know?"
MICKY (chanting):  "I saw the last scene, I saw the last scene."

WIZARD GLICK:  "May I help you?"
PETER:  "I am receiving a telepathic message to report to the television studio!"
WIZARD GLICK:  "Mnyah-hah-hah!  Fine, step this way!"

DAVY:  "That's sure some chant you got there, Micky!"
MIKE:  "Yeah, I thought you said it came with a guarantee!"
MICKY:  "Well, yeah, it does come with a guarantee.
However, it only covers the chantors, not the chantees!"

MICKY:  "Well, now we can get outta here, but we still got 
to foil the Evil Glick and his evil plan, what'll we do?"
DAVY:  "Don't worry, Micky, I have an unbeatable plan!"

DAVY:  "All right!  This is The Monkees!!  You are completely surrounded!!"
PETER:  "Do not attempt to reach for your weapons!"
MICKY:  "Do not attempt to move!"
MIKE:  "Do not even attempt to write home!"


DAVY:  "Well, okay, that's good, fellas, but we still got some work to do!  We've got Glick out of the way, but the machine's still going.  We've got to find the hypnotic Frodis and put it out of business!"
PETER:  "Well, at least we got these villians!"
MICKY:  "Yeah!"
DAVY:  "Right!"
Police sirens in background, cops enter room
COP:  "All right, don't anybody move!  We've got you all covered!"
PETER:  "Boy, are we glad to see you!"
DAVY:  "Yeah!"
COP:  "We came as soon as we got your call, we'll have you out of the ropes in no time!"
MICKY:  "Hey, wait a minute, there's been some kind of terrible mistake!"
COP:  "I'll say there has, you're the ones that made it!  Tryin' to take over the world, huh?"
MIKE:  "Wait, you can't, you--"
COP: "Tell that to the judge!!"
MIKE: "Wait a minute!  No, we're--"
COP: "Come on, you weirdos!"
MONKEES protesting

MICKY:  "You've got to help us, officers, there's no time left!"
COP:  "I don't need a timer!  Hey, it's 8:30/7:30 Central, time for 'Dragnet'!
Anybody got a tv set around here?"
MICKY:  "There's one in the window, officer!"

MICKY:  "We made it!  Now, to foil the plot of the evil Wizard Glick!"
MIKE:  "We made awfully easy; you don't suppose it could be some sort of trick, do ya?"

MIKE:  "Hey, buddy!??!!"
OTTO:  "Yeah, well, what do you want?"
MIKE:  "Well, what we want is, is we want to know if you liked to indulge in a little game of chance ..."
DAVY:  "Yeah!"
MIKE:  "... With my comrades and I here?"
OTTO:  "Well, what do we play?"
MIKE:  "Well, anything you want really!"
OTTO:  "Well, I don't have any money!"
MICKY:  "Well, we don't have to play for money.  We can play for the gun, or the table, anything, or the filing cabinet; we can even play for your keys!!" 
DAVY:  "Yeah, the keys!"
OTTO:  "No, not play for my keys!"
DAVY:  "Not even for this life-like statue?"
MICKY:  "Yeah, yeah!"
OTTO:  "Gee, that's really somethin'!  I guess we could play a couple of hands!"

MIKE:  "All right, what are we looking for?"
MICKY:  "We are looking for The Frodis Room, we've got 
to destroy the eye and save the world!"

DAVY:  "Listen, with all these doors, we'll never be able to find The Frodis Room.
NYLES comes out of room and hangs sign that reads FRODIS ROOM on door
NYLES (totally hip):  "Yeah, Frodis Room!"

MICKY:  "There it is!  The Frodis!  Quick, we can destroy it
and save the world!  I've got the pea shooter!"
DAVY:  "I've got the peas, I've got the peas!"
MICKY:  "You've got the peas?  Peas, now, quick!!  We got it!  Oh, we got the peas!!"
DAVY:  "Ready?"
MICKY:  "Now, make this good, Mike, 'cause we've only got one pea left!  Ready?  Loaded?"
DAVY:  "Loaded!"
MIKE:  "Ready!"
DAVY:  "Aim!"
MICKY:  "Set!!"
DAVY:  "Fire!!"
FRODIS:  "Wait!!"

Note From Webmistress: I know some people are a bit angst about "Mijacogeo" because it's the last episode of the last season, but somehow I am unscathed by it, like how some people are unscathed by "Monkees in Paris".

Back to Season Two Dialogues