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Monkees Mind Their Manor

The Infamous Sista' ActThe Monkees are visited by Mr. Friar, the innkeeper from Kibee, England.  He is sent from the villagers of Kibee  to tell Davy that Lord Kibee died and Davy needs to go to England for the reading of the will.  Such an event is not a big deal to go back to England.  Mr. Frair then tells Davy that Lance Kibee the Sot (drunken nephew of the former Kibee) would get the estate instead and evict the villagers that live on the estate in order to have the land developed.  Davy agrees and brings the other Monkees as cargo.  The Monkees wind up trying to save the estate by throwing a medieval fair, but in the end love conquers all.

MR. FRAIR:  "Does Davy Jones live here?  Davy, my lad, I've been asking 
for you up and down the beach!!  What's a long haired weirdo?"

MICKY:  "It's a local fish you catch with a sharp stick!"
MR. FRAIR:  "Ohhooho, ahem!"
DAVY:  "Eh, fellas, you remember I was telling you about Mr. Frair, the innkeeper from Kibee?"
MIKE and PETER shake their heads
DAVY:  "Well, eh--"
MICKY:  "No, you never told us about Mr. Frair from Kibee."
DAVY:  "The innkeeper?"
MICKY:  "No, I don't remember anything about an innkeeper."
DAVY:  "Well, this is him!"
PETER nods his head
MR. FRAIR:  "Davy you must come back to England immediately!"
DAVY:  "Oh, no, I can't do that!"
MR. FRAIR:  "Don't say that, Davy!!  Don't say that , don't say--"
MR. FRAIR faints.

MR. FRAIR:  "But you've got to do it, Davy!  If you don't, we believe Lord Kibee's
nephew, Lance Kibee the Sot, will inherit the estate and sell it to some developer!"

DAVY:  "Well, I can dig that, but I still can't go back there and live!"
MR. FRAIR faints yet again; Monkees try to catch him
MIKE:  "You better cool it, man!!  This guy's denting our couch!"

MR. FRAIR:  "Oh he loved you, Davy, and he knew how you loved the estate!
Why, he'd  speak of you for hours!!"

DAVY:  "He couldn't have said much about me, we never really talked!"
MR. FRAIR:  "That's true, hey but what he did say he would say 
over and over and over and over ... he was as nutty as a fruitcake!"

DAVY:  "Wait, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute!!  Don't think you're foolin' us guys!
We know who you are!  You're Jack Williams the Property Man on this show!!"

CUSTOMS MAN:  "Look, sweetie, I might be Jack Williams, the Property Man, 
to you but to twenty million teenagers, I'm the Customs Man!!"

DAVY:  "Oh!"  (to CAMERA) "You know, he really is Jack Williams!"

MR. FRAIR:  "Boys, I would like you to meet my daughter, Mary. 
Mary, this is Davy, the new lord of the manor, and his friends, 
Pieces, Aquarius, and Capricorn!"

MARY:  "Oh, a sister act!  Pleased to meet ya!!"

DAVY:  "What do young people do in this town for excitement?"
MARY:  "They move ... to the big city!"
MIKE:  "Oh, now we're going to get a rash of small town jokes!"
MARY:  "Oh, no, it's quite exciting!  Last year we found a mole ... in the lawn!!"

SIR BOTTOM:  "I forgot to leave the contract!"
MIKE:  "Let me see that!  Hey, wait a minute, it says 
we've got to stay here for five years!!"

SIR BOTTOM:  "Well, if you're bored, you could always leave the village for the villagers!"
MARY:  "But the villagers don't have that kind of money! 
If the boys leave, the villagers will lose their homes!!"

MIKE:  "How much we got so far?"
PETER:  "Wait a minute, we'll find out!  200 pounds!"
MIKE:  "200 pounds?!  Man, that's nowhere near enough!  We'll never get the money!!"
MR. FRAIR:  "Ha, don't you worry!  We'll get all our money betting on the Grand Championship!"
DAVY:  "What's that?"
MR. FRAIR:  "The winner out of 2 of 3 contests: jousting, deuling, mace and chain!"
DAVY:  "But that's four!"
MR. FRAIR:  "No, mace and chain go together!"
DAVY:  "Oh, well, who's going to do all these things?"
MR. FRAIR:  "Well, you're the lord of the manor!"

MIKE:  "Now, look you'll be fine as long as you remember everything that I've taught ya!"
DAVY:  "But you didn't teach me anything!"
MIKE:  "Well, then fake it!!"
SIR BOTTOM:  "As challenger, I have the right to choose weapons!"
DAVY:  "Now, wait a minute!  Shouldn't that be the other way around?"
SIR BOTTOM:  "So be it!  As challengee, I have the right to choose weapons!  Choose your lance!!"

MIKE:  "Oh, hello there!!  Well, that wraps up another half hour of hilarious situational comedy of the fantastic four: Davy, Meckle, Peter and Purkle .... um us!!  We'll be back next week with more riotous fun, laughters, and hilarious bits of antics and humour--"
PETER:  "Hey, Mike, can I say something?"
MIKE:  "Yeah, okay, go ahread!"
PETER:  "I just want to give all our viewers and listeners, who have been so nice to us,
I want to give them our Christmas message which is about love and peace--"

MIKE:  "Now, wait!  Hold it!  Man, come on, it's in the middle of February,
you can't give them a Christmas message now!"

PETER:  "Well, why not?"

No lances were broken during the production of this film!