Make your own free website on Tripod.com

Monkee vs. Machine


After Peter failed the interview for a job, which requires no experience or no training,
Mike goes in and outsmarts the interviewer, a computer.
The man who built the computer, Dagget, thinks Mike is a genius,
and makes Mike his personal assistant.
In this position in the company, The Monkees try to
help bring back hand-made toys and throw out computer crafted ones.
However, the company president has a hard time seeing the forest for the trees.


MICKY: "A toy factory!!  Needs unskilled help in
non-essential job, requiring no training or no experience!"
MIKE: "Hey, Peter!  You don't have any training, and you sure
don't have any experience!! You're the only one qualified!!"
MICKY: "Probably the only one in the city with those qualifications!
At least, the only one who could read the ads."

PETER: "Listen, I'm a man!!"
DJ-61: "In your spare time, you are a man!"
PETER: "Oh no, no!  No, that's not it at all!
First of all, you got my name wrong!"
DJ-61: "Correction!  Name misspelled!  Please give correct letter!"
PETER: "Well, I...."
DJ-61: "Correct letter is 'I'!!  Name is not Not What, but Nit Wit!"
PETER: "Oh, brother!!!"
DJ-61: "Brother is also a nitwit!!"


PETER: "No experience and no training necessary, and I couldn't even get that job!
That machine was ten times smarter than me!"
MIKE: "Look, man, that's okay!  Beside you've
got something that the machine doesn't have!"
PETER: "Hmmm?"
MIKE: "You've got friends!"
MICKY: "You've got friends, Pete?!  Bring them over someday!"


MIKE: "Mr. Not What What!  And what is your occupation?"
DJ-61: "Name is not Not What!!  I am computer DJ-61!!"
MIKE: "Oh, you're a DJ!!  Look, I bet you have a great record collection!"


MIKE: "Good morning, Mr. President!  I just want to say
that I fully support your war on poverty, and I hope you continue--"
DAGGET: "Nesmith, this is our *company* president, J.B. Guggins,
son of our former president."


GUGGINS: "I'll be happy to accept to consider your application?"
DAGGET: "No, no J.B.  I think he should start immediately!"
GUGGINS: "I think he should start immediately!!"
DAGGET: "Yes, I thought he might work as a personal assistant!"
GUGGINS: "Good, I need a personal assistant!!
I'm terribly overworked!!"
DAGGET: "No, I meant as my personal assistant!"
GUGGINS: "He should be your personal assistant!  I never do anything
around here anyhow.  I just play with the toys, and look at the frogs and the stuff."

POP HARPER: "Excuse me, Mr. Dag--"
DAGGET: "Not now Harper!"
POP HARPER: "But this will only take a minute!"
DAGGET(to Mike): "Harper used to design all our toys.  Totally useless!
Fired him like THAT, but J.B. promised him
his job for life!  What am I going to do?"
MIKE: "Wow, you're all heart."


DAVY:  "Hey, man, be happy!  You got the job!"
MIKE:  "Oh, yeah, I got the job all right, I'm also part of a new blood!"
MICKY:  "Groovy! Now we can pay the rent! Besides what
better place is there to work than a toy factory?"
PETER:  "Yeah, play with the kids and all!"


DAGGET: "Pardon me, madam, but we're only
accepting children between the ages 8 and 11."
*PETER*: "He is only between the ages 8 and 11, he's 13!"


DAGGET: "Now this afternoon, J.B., we're going to demonstrate
the durability of our new toys.  Are they all here, Nesmith?"
MIKE: "Yes, sir.  They're just coming in now!"
DAGGET: "All right, let's go!!
Oh, did you get rid of the one with the yo-yo?"
MIKE: "Oh yes, sir!!  This is a replacement here!"


DAGGET: "Wait a minute!!  I think I smell a small, furry rodent!!"


DAGGET: "I believe I've seen your son somewhere before."
*MICKY*: "Oh no, impossible!  No, he's never permitted cross the street!"
DAGGET: "I see, his looks are rather mature for 10!"
*MICKY*: "No, no, no!!  Actually, he's just a little infant.
Yes, I have to help him with his reading.
Every morning before he goes to school, I read to him!  Come on!"
PETER: "Well, I'm shaving!!!"


DAVY: "Hey, Pop!  How many of these did you make?"
POP HARPER: "Just one."
DAVY: "Where did this one come from?  I just threw one out the door!"
MICKY: "Hey, I threw one out too!"


GUGGINS: "Hey it comes back!!  I think they may have something there!!"
DAGGET: "And I say they don't!!"
GUGGINS: "And I say they may have something there!!"
MIKE: "There you go, Mr. Guggins!  You could sell
a million of these, and they you get a million happy kids!!"
DAGGET: "Pshaw!!  Happiness!"


MICKY: "What's with the machine?"
MIKE: "Oh, Mr. Guggins gave it to us to help straighten out our careers!"
PETER: "What's to straighten out?  We're musicians!!!"


<= No toys that burned, bashed, or crashed were used in this film.