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Some Like It Lukewarm

Davy looks more like a chick than me!The Monkees, unknowingly, try to enter
in a mixed-gender band contest.
Thus, Davy "volunteers" to be the
other gender.  In the midst of
the cherade, Davy has to deal with
staying in character, a girl-crazed
TV host, and falling in love again
with stars in his eyes.
All this for 500 bucks.

MIKE: "You can pay us in small bills.  You know,
something easy to carry in a guitar case: $10, $5, $15..."
JERRY: "Don't be ridiculous!!"
MICKY: "We'll take a check!!"
JERRY: "Are you snapped out of your head?"
MICKY: "How about small currency..foriegn coins??"
JERRY: "No, no!!  Absolutely not!!!"
MICKY: "Round salt wheels?"
MIKE: "Hold it, hold, hold it!!!  I think I can see what this gentleman's problem is!!
He wants us to preform!!!"

DAVY: "Eh, eh, eh!!  Look you guys, how you goin' to turn me into a woman?"
MICKY: "After all, what is a woman, but a rag, bone, and a hank o' hair!!"

JERRY: "Okay, boys and girls, you are officially entered in the KXIW Rockathon contest!!
And you, my sweet, you are very cute, my love!!!"
MISS JONES(??): "So are you."
MIKE: *Hey!!  Be nice to him, huh!!*
MICKY: "Money, money, anything for money!!!!!"
DAVY: "Right."

DAVY: "I gotta tell you guys.  I feel really good getting out of this ridiculous outfit!"
MICKY: "Wait!  You can't get out of those yet!!"
MIKE: "Not a chance!!"
DAVY: "Well, why not?"
MIKE: "Well, what if somebody from the show should come by?"
DAVY: "Oh, Mike!!  That's ridiculous!!"

JERRY: "I've got things planned for you, my chickadee, believe me!!
Let me tell you something, if you play your cards right, you might win the contest!!"
MISS JONES(??): "Oh, really?!?!"
MICKY: *Davy's winning!*
PETER: *Davy's ahead!*
MIKE: *I think he's kinda cute!*
JERRY: "Never in my life have I, the Geter with the Heater, snapped over a fox such as you!!
You're devastating! It must be the mini, it must be something about
you that makes my mind crazy in love!"
MIKE: *His mind is snapped or ---- don't you that?*
MISS JONES(??): "Well, I'll have to think about it!"

DAVY: "One more remark like that and I'll hit you with me purse!"

DAVY: "Listen, if I have to go out to dinner dressed as a girl, I'd rather stay home!"
MICKY: "Well, can we bring you anything?"
DAVY: "A tunafish sandwich!"
PETER: "Right!  One tunafish sandwich!"

DAPHNE: "I can't stand it any longer!"
DAVY: "I'm going to filp out if I stay here!  I"m going to go out!"
DAPHNE: "A place they even go to never find me."
DAVY: "Some little out of the way place that nobody goes!"

DAPHNE: "And now, after all these years of lonely searching,
we finally found each other!  How wonderful!!"
DAVY: "And nothing will ever part us!!"

DAVY: "Hi, fellas!!  Where've you been?"
MICKY: "It was the, uh uh, the uh--"
DAVY: "Some Little Out of the Way Place That Nobody Goes?"
MICKY: "Yeah, that's it!  Yeah, the southside branch!"

MICKY: "Where's your other shoe?"
DAVY: "I don't know where she is!  I mean, ah, um, I always call
my shoes 'He' and 'She', you see, and I don't get them mixed up!"
MICKY: "Sure, Davy."
PETER: "Sure.  Right."
MICKY: "Sure, babe.  We'll see you out there on stage."

DAPHNE: "Wait!!  I've a feeling I've seen you someplace before!  Your face!"
MISS JONES(??): "Oh, I look very much like my uncle!
His picture is in post offices all over the country!"
  =====   =====   =====   ====   =====   =====   =====   ====

DAPHNE: "But I don't understand!  Why are you dressed liked that?
Why didn't you tell me who you really were?"
DAVY: "Well, I've been putting everyone on, you see.
And besides that, I didn't think that a girl as nice and considerate,
and pretty as you would go for somebody that wasn't honest.
I'm sorry, I'll never bother you again."
DAPHNE: "Wait!  I want you to know the truth about me!"

JERRY: "You deceived me!!  You're not a girl, you're a boy!!
The contest specificially says that it's for
mixed groups only!!  You're disqualified!"
DAVY: "But we are a mixed group!"
JERRY: "No, you're not!"

<= No salt wheels were hurt during this film.