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Don't Look a Gift Horse in The Mouth


Davy unexpectantly receives a horse from a young boy.
Unfortunately, Mr. Babbit is not fond of animals, so
The Monkees seek the boy's father for help.
It is deemed that the horse is too expensive too keep,
so someway, somehow The Monkees have to find a way
fot the horse to not be put out to pasture!


MIKE:  "Man, we'll get in trouble!  The landlord
was just over here; he's asking a lot of questions!
DAVY:  "He doesn't think we stole him, does he?"
MIKE:  "No, he thinks we're keeping a dog in here."
DAVY:  "A dog?!?  This is a horse!!"
MIKE:  "Oh no, no, no!  He thought he heard a dog!"
DAVY:  "A dog?  Now how can a dog sound like a horse?!"
MICKY:  "Ah, well, you know I was doing my werewolf impersonation!"
DAVY:  "I don't think that sounds like a dog at all!"


PETER:  "Maybe we could coax it with some food?"
MICKY:  "Food!  Food!"
MIKE:  "Would you like a hamburger?"
MICKY:  "Horses don't eat salami!!"
MIKE:  "The soup!"
MICKY(to horse):  "Over here!"
MIKE:  "Here!  Come on!  Come, come on!
Come on!  Hey, I think he likes it!"
PETER:  At least somebody appreciates my cooking!"
MICKY:  "Wait 'till you see a horse change into a werewolf!!"


MIKE:  "Dr. Mann?"
DR. MANN:  "Yes?"
MIKE:  "Hi, I'm the fella who called before!"
DR. MANN:  "Where's the monkey?"
MIKE:  "Oh, I'm the Monkee!"
DR. MANN:  "You're the monkey?  You don't need
a vet young man!  You need a psychiatrist!"

DR. MANN:  "Ah, I see you're coming around, Mrs. Purdy!"
MRS. PURDY:  "Who are you?"
DR. MANN:  "I'm Dr. Mann!!  Luckily I was here when you fainted!
Usually I don't take cases like yours!  I'm a veternarian!"
MRS. PURDY:  "A vetera--"
DR. MANN:  "No offense, madame!!"

DAVY: "You have to take him back!"
JONATHAN: "But I can't take him back!  Jeremy's your horse now!"
DAVY: "My horse?!  I don't know what to do with him!"
JONATHAN: "Just ride him like you've been doin'!"
DAVY: "Why can't you keep him?"
JONATHAN: "Pa won't let me.  He says Jeremy costs
too much!  Says he's goin' to sell him!"


MIKE:  "Look, what if we worked on the farm for a week?
That ought to be worth about $100.  Then we can 
pay you off?  What do you say?"
FARMER:  "Well, before make any promises, I'll try you out for a day."
MIKE:  "All right, fair enough!  When do we go to work?"
FARMER:  "First thing tomorrow morning!"


MIKE: "C'mon!  We got to go..plow the cow!"
MICKY: "Something about I'm supposed to milk the chickens?"
PETER: "I think we have to feed the south-forty?"
DAVY: "Feed the chickens to the cow!?"


PETER: "I think it's just as well the hogs didn't come!"
MICKY: "Why is that?"
PETER: "I forgot their food!"


JENKINS: "What's the matter boys?  Why down in the mouths?"
JONATHAN: "It's my horse, Jeremy!  Pa says I can't keep him!"
JENKINS: "Why should you keep him anyways?
He's not good for anything except eating!"
DAVY: "That's not true!"
JENKINS: "Get yourself a real horse, like my Charlemagne!"
DAVY: "Look, I've ridden his horse and he moves around all right!"
JENKINS: "Is that right?  Just how'd you like to prove it!"
DAVY: "What'd you mean?"
JENKINS: "I bet you a hundred dollars
my Charlemagne beats the daylights out of your kind!"
DAVY: "We don't have a hundred dollars!"


JENKINS: "It's a fair race; you won!"
DAVY: "A hundred dollars!"
FARMER: "Thank you!"
DAVY: "That should take care of it for awhile!"
FARMER: "My Johnny sure appreciates it .... and so does his dad!"
<=No horses or camels were hurt during the making of this film.