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Captain Crocodile

The Monkees get a gig on "The Captain Crocodile Show"
to perform once.  The host, Captain Crocodile, is paranoid
that if The Monkees are good, he will no longer host the show.
Through a series of devious plots, Captain Crocodile tries
to make The Monkees look bad to the top brass.
In the end, the children do have fun while watching the show!

HOWARD:  "All right, you stand right there, right there, beautiful, beautiful!!"
DAVY:  "Eh, now, just a minute, what's our music cue?"
PETER:  "Hey, what is this insolation?"
MICKY:  "We're supposed to be playing!!"
MIKE:  "Don't hurt my hat!"
MICKY:  "I can't play my drums in this!!"

MICKY:  "This guy must be important!!  We're on the road to success!!"
MIKE:  "Yeah, we're almost at the heights!!"
DAVY:  "We're nearly at the top of the heap!!"
PETER:  "It's all downhill from here!!"

JUNIOR(offering shots of milk):  "Gentlemen?"
PETER:  "What?!  No cookies?!"
MICKY:  "No, ah, we're on the milk wagon!!"
MIKE(to JUNIOR):  "Thanks I needed that!"

MIKE:  "Hey, come here!!  Listen!!  Either you let us play or we quit!!!"
CAPTAIN CROCODILE:  "Who's stopping you?  Go ahead and play!  Play all you want!!"

MIKE:  "Well, that was it!! How'd it go, how'd it go, how'd it go?!?!!!"
MANAGER:  "How did what go?  We've been off the air for five minutes!"

MIKE:  "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Mike Nesmith!!
And on my left is the delightful and charming personality, David Jones!!"
DAVY:  "Thank you, Mike!"
MIKE(to DAVY):  "No sweat!!"
DAVY:  "And on my left is the charming and delightful, Peter Tork!"
PETER:  "Thank you, David!  And on my charming 
and delightful is the left, uh, moderator, Micky Dolenz!"
MICKY:  "Thank you, my charming panel, and now let's play 'What's my scene?'!!"

MICKY:  "This game isn't any fun!  Let's play 'To Tell a Fib'!!"
DAVID JONES #1:  "My name is David Jones!"
DAVID JONES #2:  "My name is David Jones!"
DAVID JONES #3:  "My name is David Jones!"
MICKY:  "Will the real David Jones, please, stand up!"
DAVID JONES #2:  "I am standing up!!"

MIKE:  "Arrogant ego-maniacs?!"
MICKY:  "Long-haired weirdos?!"
DAVY:  "Loathsome teenagers!"
PETER:  "Delightful and well-breed!"
JUNIOR:  "Who wrote that?"
PETER:  "My mother!!"

MICKY:  "Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning!! 
Good morning, gentlemen!!  I'm from the Nelson Poll Taking Service! 
Since you had The Monkees on 'The Crocodile Show', your ratings have risen
45% with a 62 share of a 200 scale of 32.6 coverage of the 3 to 14 year old 
age bracket.  That suggests for a 43 percentile sweep of the 30 city sector.
Do you know what that means??  I'll tell you what it means!  It means that
36 million people are watching The Monkees!!!  We can tell from our sample!!"
PANTOON:  "How many people were in your sample?"
MICKY:  "Ah, 14!"
PANTOON:  "14?!?"
MICKY:  "Ah, 13's an unlucky number!"

CAPTAIN CROCODILE:  "It's the kids we want, isn't it?
That's what's most important in here is what the kids want, right?!?"
"KID" #1:  "I like The Monkees, and if you take 'em off the air,
I'm goin' to hold my breath 'till my face turns blue!!"
JUNIOR:  "So will I!!"
PANTOON:  "Junior!!!!"
"KIND" #2:  "If The Monkees go off the air, I'll never eat my vegetables again!!"

MICKY:  "Wait!  Wait!  Wait!!  Wait, would you like to hear a story?"
CROCODILE CORPS:  "Yeah!!!!!!!!"
MICKY:  "All right, I got a story!"
MIKE:  "Ah, but that's the dictionary!!"
MICKY(to MIKE):  "Shsssh!!!"
<=Mike's woolhat was not seriously injured during the making of this film.