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Page 5
Hey, Hey, It's The Monkees (1997)


    Written and Directed by Michael Nesmith
    Original Air Date on ABC:  February 17, 1997
    Transcript from television broadcast by Estrella Lee
 
 

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35    INT. WMP COUNTRY CLUB, MAIN ROOM

MANAGER is handing the MONKEES their wages after the guests have left.

                            MANAGER
           You fellows are certainly pros!  A happy 
           ending, and no story!  I get my lease 
           renewed for 99 years and there's 
           absolutely no dialogue about it.  There's 
           no stupid chases.  There's no silly scenes 
           and exposition, just stacks of goofy jokes

                       (SCREEN is upside-down)
           and silly special effects.
                       (Returns right side up)
           Thanks to you.

                            PRINCESS
           And it was a dream come true for me as 
           well, to see the four of you all together 
           like this.  Even though you're all grown 
           up, you're just as stupid as you ever were!

                            MICKY
                       (aside to others)
           Ooo!

                            PRINCESS
           Oh, and Davy, I found out how old I am!!

                            DAVY
                       (feigning interest)
           Oh, really?  How old?

A beat.

                            PRINCESS
                      (disappointed)
           I forgot.

                            MIKE
                      (aside)
           What a maroon!

36    EXT.STREETS OF LA - NIGHT

The MONKEEMOBILE with the MONKEES is returning to the pad after an interesting night with the concert and meeting Princess.

                            PETER
                       (referring to DIMENSION
                       MACHINE)
           You guys mind if I play with this?

                            MIKE
           No, go ahead!

PETER presses 1ST DIMENSION BUTTON.  SCREEN turns into previously mentioned set-up for the first dimension.

                            DAVY
           So, what episode was that?  781 or ...

PETER PRESSES 2ND DIMENSION BUTTON.  SCREEN turns into previously mentioned set-up for the 2nd dimension.

                            MIKE
           Yeah, 781.

PETER PRESSES SIXTIES BUTTON.  MONKEES revert back to the sixties.

                            MICKY
           I wonder if the general public knows 
           that shows like ours never die and that 
           they just go on and on even though 
           they're not being broadcasted.

PETER PRESSES 4TH DIMENSION BUTTON.  SCREEN turns into previously mentioned set-up for the 4th dimension.

                            DAVY
           The Princess does!  She's still 
           watching new episodes of 'The Flying 
           Nun'!

Everybody laughs.  PETER PRESSES 3RD DIMENSION BUTTON.   DAVY imitates Princess' snort laugh.  Everybody laughs again.

                            PETER
           And 'Charlie's Angels' and 'MASH' and 
           'Cheers' and ... and ...

                       (noticing something seriously unusual)
           Whoa ...

It's the PAD COVERED IN TOILET PAPER.

                            DAVY
           Uh-oh.

                            MIKE
                       (softly)
           Ho-ly smokes.

They DRIVE UP TO THE PAD, and step out.  They look at the work in half  awe and half sad.

                            MIKE
           They papered the house!

                            PETER
           You know, it doesn't look half bad!

                            MICKY
           Well, might as well finish it off!
                       (starts to put finger in mouth)

                            DAVY
                       (stopping MICKY)
           And the show?  'Cause this will finish 
           up the rest of the production budget, 
           right?

                            MIKE
           Well, this place is good as any.  Endings 
           are always hard.

                            MICKY
           Well?

MIKE, DAVY, and PETER cover their ears.

                            MICKY
           Here goes!!

MICKY sticks finger in mouth and SPEWS OUT CONFETTI and FIREWORKS.  SPECIAL EFFECTS DISAPATES and then CAMERA FREEZES for a few seconds on the group in a celebratory stance.

CUT TO:

 [ENDING CREDITS]
 

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